Birthdays

Well, next week is my "birthday". I use the term lightly. Birthdays are; for the first quarter of a century, usually festive occasions filled with balloons, party hats, presents, friends, laughs and fun. Somewhere after that, the occasions become less festive and more restive. The droll turns to dread and antiquity anxiety begins to settle in. We become less amused at our maturity. Our childhood cheer evolves into maturation misery. It's a problem that has plagued humankind since Methuselah turned 150 and began to notice his stamina begin to sag. Unfortunately, for the more contemporary, things begin to sag considerably sooner than the 150th birthday we all aspire to (yeah, right). So, I hereby give notice; I have dispensed with the traditional accounting method of annual "birthdays". I welcome one and all to adopt my method. I have not patented the method, so you are all on the honor system of acknowledgement. If you do adopt it, merely mention it as the FMouie FMethod and there will be no litigious inclinations. The method is simple, and it doesn't kick in until the 50th birthday. At that point, each successive birthday is added as a letter! See? So, if I were to become, say...51 in Olde Worlde accounting, I would be 50a in FMouie! 52 would be 50b; etc. No longer must we bare the misery of aging in such a blatant, depressing format. The entire industry of birthdays now has a major opportunity to cash in and the rest of us can now grow older with less stress and embarrassment! How much easier is it to grow another letter than another year?! Thank you. For the record; 50f was a period of rehab and growth. 50g promises to be a good letter!