An earring

Well, I turned 50G lately, as I wrote previously. Gotta tell ya; getting older sucks big time. And, it's not only physical or mental limitations that beat the hell out of you. Options to fuck with your life come at you from all angles! Suddenly, an earring becomes subject to anaysis. It might be an interesting side note when you're younger, but at 50G, my urges become suspect. Did I do it because I want to appear younger? Am I going through a "mid-life crisis"? Do I really want it? Am I trying to prove something?

PFFFhhh (bi-labial fricative) how the hell do I know? I've been thinkin 'bout the pirate look for some time now. In fact, I've been a pirate on many a Hallow's eve. I even had an inflatable parrot on my shoulder one yesr! (well, not ALL year. I took it off for Easter and when I showered) It had a slow leak which provided me with many opportunities to ham it up (like I need MORE opportunities). I had an eye-patch too. It made me see funny. Probably one of the few times when I saw funny AND looked funny simultaneously.

Anyway, I have this earring now. I never would have guessed the issues that become a part of the earring experience. For example; I never knew how often I absent-mindedly reached up and tweaked or rubbed my ear during the day. Now, with this pole in my ear, every time I rub or tweak I get a quick reminder via an irritating mini pain. NYAHHahhAHH!!!

Then, my hair is forever tickling my ear which causes me to rub more often.

Then, there was the right-or-left concerns. Apparently, an earring in the right-sided ear supposedly indicates that the wearer is gay. Who knew!! Does a nose ring indicate bi-sexualism? It's in the center of the face, so maybe.......

I was very tempted to have it inserted in my right ear just as a protest. I mean shit, you're telling me that I can't decide upon a fashion item or wear it as I wish without being profiled? And who's idea was that anyway? Did pirates subscribe to that tenet? How about "Native Americans"? I suspect that it was the gay community who wanted to select a body part for their symbolic gesture of ownership. They chose to make it their "right" to keep that ear for themselves in protest for forgetting their anniversary or something. They would have chose the penis, but went for something ON your face instead of IN your face.

So, now let's see........Should I get a hoop?